Eulogy of a Cell Phone

We are gathered here today to mourn the passing of my 5 month life Cell Phone battery pack. Although experts and specialists in the field told me this "battery pack" would last only 5 months then would need replacing, it went strong. My cellphone pulled through this terminal illness to seek adventure with my comrads and I surviving a whopping extra year of faithful service before finally drawing its last surge of energy on february 12th 2006 at exactly 2:13pm. It was in intensive care hooked up to power support systems when at 5:43 pm we finally decided to pull the plug.

My phone was a good phone, a proud phone. A phone that allowed free nights and weekends after 7, with unlimited texting and no roaming charges, but roam it did, far and wide, across vast distances unbarred by "dead zones" and "weather complications". The phone fought valiently until its bitter end. so we sit here at our computers paying our last respects to "stott's cell phone, leave a message after the beep" if anyone has any last respects they would like to say, please speak now.....

Ashes to ashes

circuits to circuits

coast to coast

we will now give this battery pack its proper rights with a formal burial at sea, on the date of the 26th of February, god bless and we will meet again at radioshak...err heaven.

To Flave, or not to Flave

              So the on-going world changing debate continues. and i dont mean presidential or otherwise. i mean the debate about whether it is uncouth to approach women at their workplace. My sisters (who know nothing about the brain functions of normal women) say it is a compliment to hit on women where they work. I on the other hand, think it is quite crude and very uncalled for. There have been a couple of times i saw a girl in class or at work that i would very much like to talk to, but these venues are very inappropriate in my opinion. Lets get a couple of opinions and revisit this.

DayZ DayZ tell me you love me, do!

OK so i tried the Zombie survival game DayZ, which is based off of an old (like 3 or 4 years) army simulator on the computer, its a first person shooter called Arma. Well the game isn't bad at all but its still rough around the edges. The main problem is as soon as DayZ announced they would publish a Stand-Alone client and stop being a Mod (Modified Game Format) of Arma 2, another competing company came out with WarZ (pretty much the same idea with a few differences) and now like a fat kid in a bakery i am torn between two lovers.

WarZ seems to have way better graphics, its a bit more organized, and its set in Colorado! Downside is it kinda looks like a scam because there is no technical data and the developer's site doesn't exist (the developers MAKE the game in case you didn't know)

DayZ on the other hand has the original idea going for it, it has a PLAYABLE copy, with a very loyal fan base so far, the down site is for a REALISTIC survival game it isn't very realistic, the zombies just come flying out of nowhere, the game engine blows and its set in Russia. OK, pushing all that other stuff off to the side, RUSSIA? The Russians barely had a reason to keep living and functioning like people, and now you add zombies? who the fuck would want to survive that?

Time for $ome Change

Just to be cute someone recently asked me "Remember when the Elderly had something meaningful to contribute to society?" to which I replied in the most delicate way possible (for me) "Yes i remember when the Old Folks had something to contribute, it was called a fucking WILL".."Boom!"

The Old and the Ugly

The Resident Evil movie franchise is like Old Pap-Pap in the nursing home: Every time you see him he is doing worse than the last time but he says he is doing better, and the whole time you are like "Jesus Pap-Pap, just fucking die already" -Me

Shots!

I remember a while back (Yes im getting moderately old) when bars used to be fun. Back when they had real bands and real music, and real people went there. These days you go to a "pub" and its blasting rap music and its full of what we in the business call "D-bags". What happened to that bar you could go shoot pool at and actually HEAR each other talk? The bar where you didnt have to worry about some drunk dumbass ruining your night. Where drinks were only slightly overpriced instead of obscenely? I found that bar again, it's called my house: I drink there undisturbed, there are no "D-bags" unless you consider me one, then there are one or two there, but they are regulars. The music at my bar is always good, and if a fight starts, its probably for a pretty good reason. I refuse to go out to the bars these days it has turned into a carnival freak show of people who are full of themselves vs people who have something to prove. So i might see you out on the town if i'm babysitting, otherwise ill see you at my regular bar.